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作曲 : Robert Lopez/Trey Parker/Matt Stone |
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ELDER CUNNINGHAM: And lo, the Lord said unto the Nephites: |
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"I know you're really depressed, what with all your... AIDS and everything... |
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But there is an answer in Christ." |
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NABULUNGI: You see? This book CAN help us! |
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ELDER CUNNINGHAM: I just told a lie. |
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No,wait, I didn't LIE... |
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I just used my imagination... |
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And it worked! |
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CUNNINGHAMS FATHER: You're making things up again, Arnold. |
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ELDER CUNNINGHAM: But it worked, dad! |
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CUNNINGHAMS FATHER: You're stretching the truth again, |
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And you know it- |
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JOSEPH SMITH: Don't be a Fibbing Fran, Arnold. |
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ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Joseph Smith...? |
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SMITH AND FATHER: Because a lie is a lie. |
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ELDER CUNNINGHAM: It's not a lie! |
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MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and FATHER: You're making things up again, Arnold! |
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ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Oh, conscience! |
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MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and FATHER: You're taking the holy word |
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And adding fiction! |
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Be careful how you prcoeed, Arnold. |
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When you fib, there's a price. |
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MUTUMBO: Ahh, this it bullshit! |
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The story that I have been told is that the way to cure AIDS is by sleeping with a virgin! |
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I'm going to go and rape a baby! |
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ELDER CUNNINGHAM: What?! Oh my-NO! You cant do that!!! NO! |
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MUTUMBO: Why not?! |
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ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Because that is DEFINITELY against God's will! |
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MUTUMBO: Says who?! |
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Where in that book of yours does it say ANYTHING about sleeping with a baby, huh?! |
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Nowhere. |
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ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Uh, behold! The Lord said to the Mormon prophet Joseph Smith: |
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"You SHALL NOT have sex with that infant!" |
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LO! Joseph said: "Why not, Lord? Huh? Why not?" |
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And the Lord said, "If you lay with that infant, you shall.... BURN in the fiery pits of Mordar!!!" |
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MUTUMBO: ...really? |
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ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Uh-uh... Uh-uh! "A baby cannot cure your illness, Joseph Smith. |
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I shall give unto you... a FROG! And thus, |
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Joesph laid with the frog, and his AIDS was no more! |
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MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, and DAD: You're making things up again, Arnold. |
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You're recklessly warping the words of Jesus! |
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HOBBITS: You cant just say what you want, Arnold! |
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ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Come, on, Hobbits! |
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ALL: You're digging yourself a deep hole! |
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ELDER CUNNINGHAM: I'm making things up again...kind of. |
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But this time, it's helping a dozen people! |
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It's nothing so bad, because this time, |
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I'm not committing a sin, |
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Just by making things up again, right?! |
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ALL:NO! |
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NABULUNGI: Elder Cunningham, you have to stop him! |
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ELDER CUNNINGHAM: What? What is it? |
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NABULUGI: Gotswana is going to cut off his daughter's ********! |
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ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Huh?! |
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GOTSWANA: This is all very interesting, but women have to be circumcised if that's what the General wants! |
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ELDER CUNNINGHAM: No, doing that to a lady is definitely against Christ's will! |
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GOTSWANA: How do you know?! |
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Christ never said NONE about no ********! |
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ELDER CUNNINGHAM: ...YES! YES HE DID! |
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In ancient New York, three men were about to cut off a Mormon woman's...********. |
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But...right before they did, Jesus had... BOBA FETT turn'em into FROGS! |
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GOTSWANA: Frogs? |
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ASMERET: You mean like the frogs that got ****ed by Joseph Smith?! |
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ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Right! Right! Like THOSE frogs! |
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For a ******** is holy amongst ALL things, said he! |
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MORONI, MORMON, SMITH, DAD, and HOBBITS: You're making things up again, Arnold. (UGANDANS:We're learning the truth!) |
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CHORUS: Youre taking the holy word And adding fiction! (UGANDANS: The truth about God!) |
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CHORUS: Be careful how you proceed, Arnold. |
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When you fib, there's a price! ( UGANDANS: We're going to paradise! ) |
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ELDER CUNNINGHAM: Who would have thought I had this magic touch? |
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Who'd believe I could man up this much? |
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I'm talking, they're listening, |
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My stories are glistening |
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I'm gonna save them all with this stuff! |
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(UGANDANS: Ooooh- La) |
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CHORUS:You're making things up again, Arnold! (UGANDANS: Elder Cunningham!) |
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CHORUS: You're making things up again, Arnold! (UGANDANS: Holy prophet man!) |
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CHORUS: You're making things up again, Arnold! (UGANDANS:Our savior!) |
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ELDER CUNNINGHAM:You're making things up again... |
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WIZENED OLD JEDI MASTER: Hmmm, up again making things you are- |
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ELDER CUNNINGHAM: ...Arnold... |
