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作曲 : Phil Hoose |
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Our town made a plan for its civil defense |
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We all take the interstate north if things get tense |
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My wife sewed a map into my underclothes |
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So I’ll know where to run when the big whistle blows |
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We had a rehearsal last Saturday night |
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And all things considered the town did all right |
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Except on that ramp when that truck tried to pass |
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It took us four hours to clean up the glass |
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What if the Russians don't come |
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What if they like where they're from |
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What if they're not in the mood to invade |
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What if they're tired, or drunk, or afraid |
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What would we do if their generals just said, this is dumb |
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What if the Russians don't come |
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I've learned about Russians since I was a tyke |
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And here’s what I know about what they are like |
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They don't believe in God, and they never have fun |
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They're brainwashed, and dull, and they all weigh a ton |
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And in the Olympics if ever we meet |
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Their women are men, and their judges all cheat |
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Maybe you shouldn't rely just on me |
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Cuz I've not seen a Russian except on TV |
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What if the Russians have lives |
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What if their husbands and wives |
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If they come home late from work on the bus |
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And have to fix dinner for children that fuss |
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They may be too tired to come put us under their thumb |
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What if the Russians don't come |
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Our president says we're behind in the race |
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We needed some new missiles we need them in space |
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We’ve got to stay up with them lap after lap |
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Or the Russians will blow us right off the map |
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Well, I maybe dumb but sometimes I forget |
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What I've got against all these folks I ain't met |
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I wonder why they’d want to start World War Three |
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Could it be that they are wondering the same about me |
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What if the Russians are scared |
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What if they feel unprepared |
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You know, I bet that Ivan's as fried as I am |
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Tired of worrying about Uncle Sam |
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So why don't we stop before one of us does some dumb |
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What if the Russians don't come |
