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作曲 : Cameron Smith/Karlin Weins |
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Is it enough that you succeed or does someone else need to fail? |
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There's a lot that my soul still needs and my heart has left a bleeding trail |
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To balance out my order/chaos dynamic |
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I derive joy from anything that isn't panic |
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Because life doesn't get easier, but our strength moves like meteors |
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And lately, I'm not afraid of monsters as much as I'm afraid of becoming one |
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My mind has been hiding the imposters and the thought of revenge sometimes sounds like fun |
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So I begin to run so I don't get lost in what was |
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Removing my pride so I don't feel so undone |
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It's crazy what a soul can become |
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'Cause you have to make your opponent seem reprehensible so you don't have to take them seriously |
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But freedom from the chains of depression are obtainable when I can talk to myself fearlessly |
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So, I turn to songs and music and bands that feel honest |
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Music where I'm finally not paying for the name, but I'm actually paying for the product |
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I promise that I'm echoing the message that I was taught when I was facing trauma |
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I wrote about the real stuff in my life and now I feel like I've lost it |
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That sense of comfort of knowing no one really knows me |
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Because I'm afraid of my mistakes and I don't like feeling lonely |
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So I ask, you don't need to stay, but before you leave, could you at least hold me? |
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I hate feeling this depression |
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I hate making first impressions |
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I hate digging my head in the sand |
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And I hate not having your attention |
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I hate that there's hate in my heart |
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And I promise that it'll someday leave me |
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But the moments I spend creating art are the only ones that I feel can still complete me |
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And I'll say "I love you" to my dad more often, now that my mom is living in heaven |
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I'll stop complaining about the past and I'll stop hoping things were just more even |
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And I won't complain about the rules, even when I feel that the game is not fair |
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Because life can end in one quick second and it's time that I begin to care |
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I want to pray more often and I want to talk less |
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I want to let love begin to blossom and stop living in mess |
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I want to focus on my physical health and stop indulging when I'm depressed |
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I want to make life less about fearing hell and more about the love we possess |
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And I want to feel beautiful even in the moments that I regret |
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I just want to feel beautiful |
