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Okay children quiet down, quiet down |
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Children I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day |
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His name is Mr. Shady |
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Children quiet down please |
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Brian don't throw that （SHUT UP!）Brian |
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Mr. Shady will be your new substituteShady |
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Good luck Mr. ShadyShady |
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Hi there little boys and girls （FUCK YOU!） |
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Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels |
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But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob （Huh?） |
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Say hi Bob! （"Hi Bob"） Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom |
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and he don't got a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot |
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but his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot |
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And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spotBob |
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and wait in the parking lot for waitresses off the clock |
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when it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog |
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Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks （AHH!） |
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And even if they escaped and they got the cops |
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the ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge |
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'til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job |
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when she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk |
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But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off |
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But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker |
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Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka |
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You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr." |
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He grabbed S tace' by the legs as chopped it off her |
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and dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her |
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But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander |
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they never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner |
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And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana, |
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and what it might do to you |
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So see if the squirrels want any - it's bad for you |
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See children, drugs are bahhhd （c'mon） |
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and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd （ask him man） |
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and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom （that's right） |
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She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （she will） |
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So kids say no to drugs （that's right） |
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So you don't act like everyone else does （uh-huh） |
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Then there's really nothin else to say （sing along） |
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Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay? |
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My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it? |
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FUCK NO you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut （Huh?） |
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Speakin of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels? |
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Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world |
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If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it |
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Kids two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid |
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and spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back |
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So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back |
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Meet Zach, twenty-one years old |
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After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold |
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and decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys |
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and peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it |
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Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive |
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and his eyes roll back in his skull {blblblblblb} |
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His back starts tah - look like the McDonald's Arches |
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He's on Donald's carpet, layin horizontal barfin {BLEH}他在Donald的地毯上， |
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And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at him |
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"Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!" |
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cause they took it too, so they think it's funny |
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So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money |
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Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is over |
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and his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin yoga |
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And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac |
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So don't even feed that to squirrels class, cause it's bad for you |
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See children, drugs are bahhhd （c'mon） |
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and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd （ask him man） |
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and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom （that's right） |
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She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （she will） |
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So kids say no to drugs （that's right） |
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So you don't act like everyone else does （uh-huh） |
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Then there's really nothin else to say （sing along） |
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Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay? |
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And last but not least, one of the most humungous |
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problems among young people today, is fungus |
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It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off, |
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bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it |
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Yum yum! Then you start to see some dumb stuff |
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And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em.. |
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And sometimes you see things that aren't there （Like what?） |
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Like fat woman in G-strings with orange hair |
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（Mr. Shady what's a G-string?） It's yarn Claire（Mr. Shady |
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Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em （Huh?） |
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And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms |
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Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms? |
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I meant fungus Ya tongue gets, all swoll up like a cow's tongue （How come?） |
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cause it comes from a cow's dung （Gross!!） |
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See drugs are bad, it's a common fact |
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But your mom and dad, know that's all that I'm good at （Oh!） |
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But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D. |
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They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee |
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and get a disguise and hide, cause it'll be my fault |
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So don't do drugs, and do exactly as I don't, |
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cause I'm bad for you |
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See children, drugs are bahhhd （c'mon） |
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and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd （ask him man） |
| [04:08.86] |
and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom （that's right） |
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She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （she will） |
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So kids say no to drugs （that's right） |
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So you don't act like everyone else does （uh-huh） |
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Then there's really nothin else to say （sing along） |
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Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay? |
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Come on children, clap along （SHUT UP!） |
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Sing along children （Suck my motherfuckin dick!） |
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Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad （South Park is gonna sue me!） |
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So don't do drugs （Suck my motherfuckin penis!） |
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so there'll be more for me （Hippie! God damnit!） |
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（So, fucked up, right now..） |
